Hell was finally running smoothly.

Naturally, Heaven opened an audit.

After surviving an accidental administrative appointment in Hell, retired attorney Ruby Valentina has returned to Earth with tea, quiet mornings, and two retired infernal staff members who refuse to behave like pets. Her peace lasts until a celestial notice appears in her kitchen and informs her that Hell’s new efficiency has triggered a full audit of Creation.

The problem is not that Hell is failing.

The problem is that Hell is doing too well.

Now Ruby must return to the infernal bureaucracy she accidentally improved, face Heaven’s compliance division, and explain why dental coverage, soul reclassification, employee grievance procedures, and basic administrative competence are not signs of cosmic rebellion.

But the deeper Ruby digs, the worse the paperwork gets.

Missing records. Forged audit conclusions. A heavenly workforce with no HR department. A complaint jar with opinions. A celestial filing system that would rather collapse than answer a direct question. And somewhere beneath it all, the Zero File: a foundational record that suggests Creation itself may have been mismanaged from the beginning.

With a nervous angel auditor, a terrifyingly organized HR demon, a dramatic Lucifer in flaming Hawaiian shirts, a retired hellhound, and a retired hellcat with flexible ideas about evidence custody, Ruby must do what she does best:

Ask who authorized this nonsense.

A deadpan adult comic fantasy for readers who like cosmic bureaucracy, supernatural satire, legal absurdity, and the terrifying possibility that the universe was built by committee.